One of the most basic of human needs is to be touched. Through touch we convey love, caring, understanding, desire, sympathy; virtually any emotion. Most of all, though, touch grounds us; it reminds us that we’re not alone.
There are many types of massage. We most often associate massage with the therapeutic types, such as acupressure, Shiatsu, reflexology, even chiropractic adjustment that involves the soft tissues. These all accomplish the same basic results: Relaxation, adjustment, fixation, or as in the case of Rolfing, torture!
Sensual massage, however, has a different purpose. It’s not only a method of relaxation, and deep relaxation at that, but also a way to convey desire and attraction, to arouse, and to set your partner at ease and on fire at the same time. It’s a very basic, yet strong, way of expressing caring.Anyone can meet up and have sex, but to offer an erotic massage, and perform it to perfection, shows your partner that you are at a level above the rest, and are willing to go to any length to bring him or her to plateaus of ecstasy not yet experienced.This is what I’m here to teach you.
Erotic message, however, is not just about getting somebody hot so you can have sex.It’s a way to break through inhibitions, as well. Let me explain:
In this society we are loath to touch one another. Hugs, kisses, and even a friendly hand on the shoulder are often accepted with fear or trepidation. We’ve isolated ourselves in our own bodies, and in some cases share physical touch only in the setting of a sexual encounter. At the same time, we have become restricted in our ability to demonstrate the appreciation of any pleasure that we may receive.
We’ve been bombarded with so many images of how a person should act, that we’ve come to believe it. As a result, we suppress a natural moan of pleasure, and replace it with something we saw in a porn movie late one night. Out of fear of looking or sounding silly, or worse – different – we’ve adopted the persona of Ron Jeremy or Marilyn Chambers, or have gone the complete opposite extreme and clammed up entirely, not expressing any pleasure at all.
Holding back is something we’ve somehow picked up as children. When we’re babies and we coo and giggle, everyone takes delight. An excited cry on Christmas morning brings smiles of satisfaction to family. As we get older, though, those “outbursts” are called into question. ”Use your inside voice,” we’re told. We quickly learn that it isn’t socially acceptable to express extremes of emotions. By our teenage years, it’s not hard at all to play it cool and reserved, even indifferent. No wonder when given the opportunity to truly vocalize our pleasure, we either hold it in or pretend to be someone else.
Erotic massage can help us “get permission” to express ourselves completely. In a controlled, safe, soothing environment, we can learn to let go and completely experience the here and now, whether giving the massage or receiving it.
Touching can be healing. Adults often find themselves craving simple touch, but because of upbringing or societal misconceptions, the need for touch is confused with the need for sexual release. Don’t get me wrong; there’s nothing wrong with having feelings of sexual urgency, but understanding the role touch plays in human life can make those sexual encounters all the more fulfilling.
Massage is an excellent way to move towards more intimate touch. For women especially, a massage is a relaxing way to get used to the sensation of a lover’s hands, his touch, his feel. Massage is the perfect way to make your partner feel comfortable and relaxed, and more willing to move on to bigger and better things! Never forget, the skin is the largest organ of the human body, and next to the brain, in my opinion, it is also the largest sexual organ.
But, our goal, after all, is an erotic massage, and that means our intention is for the massage to segue into a sexual encounter. For this reason, there should be no misunderstanding, no hesitation, no waffling about what you’re doing. In an erotic massage, what starts out as massaging the outside of the body will become an internal caress. You may start massaging with your hands, but you will end up using your lips, your teeth, your hair, and other parts of your body.
First and foremost you must have your partner’s permission to give such intimate touch.I don’t mean you walk up with a contract in hand and demand a signature after full disclosure, but you should be sure you’re on the same page.If the massage starts out clothed, then the sensual part of the massage may not be welcome.You’re going to have to take things a little slower and make sure you read your partner correctly.On the other hand, if you both start off the massage naked, it’s implied that sex is part of the massage.
Setting the proper mood with lighting, music, and massage oil will help spell out exactly what you have in mind.
Those societal restrictions I spoke of before?They’ll make themselves known in other ways, too; namely permission.
As hard as it is to verbally express pleasure, it’s even harder to lie still and accept it.It’s natural to want to reciprocate, if for no other reason than to not appear selfish.I’m being given pleasure, and if I lie here accepting it without doing something in return, I’ll be seen as a terrible lover.
In an erotic massage, the whole focus is on the person receiving it.If he’s trying to reach back to touch you in the middle of the massage, then his concentration is broken.The goal is for your partner to become completely immersed in the experience.If there was a way to give an erotic massage under sensory deprivation conditions, I’d be all for it.As it is, though, we’ll have to settle for low lighting, very soft music, and no talking.
You want this massage to culminate in a brain sizzling, whole-body orgasm (or orgasms), and the best thing is, by doing this for your partner, you’ve shown him or her exactly how to do it to you!